Self-love is a term that I wasn't familiar with until a few months ago. To be honest , I thought that someone who 'loved themself' was the sort of person who stared in awe at their reflection in a shop window or would scream in horror at a young child (usually mine) putting sticky fingers anywhere near their new Gucci handbag!
But after some deep reflection and words of wisdom from my Integrative Nutrition lecturers, I've learnt the importance of loving myself as much as I love my husband and children, and caring for myself as well as I care for them too.
Now take a moment just to think about that - do you love yourself and care for yourself as much as you do for your husband and children? Before I learnt about self-love, I spent my days dressing my children nicely and ensuring their meals were wholesome and filling - meanwhile forgetting to eat all day myself. I would cook meals that my husband to liked to eat because it was important to me to please him. I rarely bought nice clothes for myself or if I did I felt guilty. I considered washing, drying and straightening my hair as 'me' time.
As I write this I'm thinking to myself "Was I mad?" but I'm guessing that a lot of other Mum's right now are nodding their head in agreeance. It seems to be that when the nurse hands you your baby in hospital, it is merely a distraction so that the Dr may intravenously provide you with enough guilt and selflessness to deem you fit to be a Mother.
So how do you detox yourself from the guilt drug and start loving yourself and getting back into life again? As a woman we normally show our love by caring for people. So the best way to start loving yourself is to start caring for yourself.
Here's what I did to start caring for myself again:
- To give me some time to spend on self-care I made my bedroom and en-suite off limits to little people (it helps if you install a lock!)
- I developed a morning routine so that practising self-care was the first thing I did, before the days jobs start (because once the jobs start, self-care doesn't get a look in!)
5:30am Yoga or Run for 25 minutes
6:00am Dry body brushing (to remove toxins and stimulate blood circulation)
6:10am Shower
6:20am Drink hot water with lemon to detox liver
6:30am Make green smoothie to nourish and cleanse skin
- I buy nice clothes for myself without feeling guilty. Now I don't go overboard because we have a mortgage and 2 businesses but every now and then I buy something nice because it's good for my self-esteem and confidence. If you're on a budget, work out how much you can afford each week (say $10) and then put something on laybuy and pay it off at that amount.
- I cook to my taste. I started including vegetarian meals a couple of nights a week because I like them, and if anybody complained I told them they were most welcome to do the cooking themselves. My teenage son now cooks twice a week - bonus!
- I found a career I love and asked my husband to support me in following my dreams - and here I am!
The more you love yourself, the happier your family will be. The more you respect yourself, the more your family and friends will respect you. When I wasn't practising self-love I thought my family didn't respect me - I felt like a door mat and the more I gave of myself the more they expected. But the problem wasn't them - it was me. The moment I said "I want to get a new career", my husband said "Ok, I'll support you". When I said "I need half an hour every morning to myself" the kids found another way to entertain themselves. When I said "I'd like to buy some new clothes" my husband said "that's fair enough". All I had to do was stand up and make myself heard.
This Mother's Day, feel the love of your family, but more importantly feel the love from yourself.
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| Taking a moment to take care for myself - a weekend away with my besties - 2 of the greatest Mums I know! |
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