You love everyone else but do you love YOURSELF this Mother's Day?

Mother's Day is a day where our family shows us their love and appreciates us for our efforts - but do you love and appreciate yourself on a daily basis?

Self-love is a term that I wasn't familiar with until a few months ago. To be honest , I thought that someone who 'loved themself' was the sort of person who stared in awe at their reflection in a shop window or would scream in horror at a young child (usually mine) putting sticky fingers anywhere near their new Gucci handbag!

But after some deep reflection and words of wisdom from my Integrative Nutrition lecturers, I've learnt the importance of loving myself as much as I love my husband and children, and caring for myself as well as I care for them too.

Now take a moment just to think about that - do you love yourself and care for yourself as much as you do for your husband and children? Before I learnt about self-love, I spent my days dressing my children nicely and ensuring their meals were wholesome and filling - meanwhile forgetting to eat all day myself. I would cook meals that my husband to liked to eat because it was important to me to please him. I rarely bought nice clothes for myself or if I did I felt guilty. I considered washing, drying and straightening my hair as 'me' time. 

As I write this I'm thinking to myself "Was I mad?" but I'm guessing that a lot of other Mum's right now are nodding their head in agreeance. It seems to be that when the nurse hands you your baby in hospital, it is merely a distraction so that the Dr may intravenously provide you with enough guilt and selflessness to deem you fit to be a Mother.

So how do you detox yourself from the guilt drug and start loving yourself and getting back into life again? As a woman we normally show our love by caring for people. So the best way to start loving yourself is to start caring for yourself.

Here's what I did to start caring for myself again:

• To give me some time to spend on self-care I made my bedroom and en-suite off limits to little people (it helps if you install a lock!)
• I developed a morning routine so that practising self-care was the first thing I did, before the days jobs start (because once the jobs start, self-care doesn't get a look in!)

My routine goes as follows:
5:30am     Yoga or Run for 25 minutes
6:00am     Dry body brushing (to remove toxins and stimulate blood circulation)
6:10am     Shower
6:20am     Drink hot water with lemon to detox liver
6:30am     Make green smoothie to nourish and cleanse skin

• I buy nice clothes for myself without feeling guilty. Now I don't go overboard because we have a mortgage and 2 businesses but every now and then I buy something nice because it's good for my self-esteem and confidence. If you're on a budget, work out how much you can afford each week (say $10) and then put something on laybuy and pay it off at that amount.
• I cook to my taste. I started including vegetarian meals a couple of nights a week because I like them, and if anybody complained I told them they were most welcome to do the cooking themselves. My teenage son now cooks twice a week - bonus!
• I found a career I love and asked my husband to support me in following my dreams - and here I am!

Here's my take home message:

The more you love yourself, the happier your family will be. The more you respect yourself, the more your family and friends will respect you. When I wasn't practising self-love I thought my family didn't respect me - I felt like a door mat and the more I gave of myself the more they expected. But the problem wasn't them - it was me. The moment I said "I want to get a new career", my husband said "Ok, I'll support you". When I said "I need half an hour every morning to myself" the kids found another way to entertain themselves. When I said "I'd like to buy some new clothes" my husband said "that's fair enough". All I had to do was stand up and make myself heard.

This Mother's Day, feel the love of your family, but more importantly feel the love from yourself. 

Taking a moment to take care for myself - a weekend away with my besties -  2 of the greatest Mums I know! 

Fast Food Friday

This is a perfect 20 minute meal for hungry hubbies and kids- whack the kids in the bath and this will be done by the time they get out!

Boston baked beans on toast with thyme infused leek and mushroom, avocado and soft boiled egg. 

1 Slice of bread (per person)
1 Egg (per person)
1 Tb White Vinegar
1 Avocado
2 cups White Beans
2 Tb Paprika
1 can Tomatoes
25 grams Butter
1 Leek sliced
1 Large mushroom (or 5 small) sliced
2 Tb stock (I use Herbamare)
1 Onion chopped
1 clove Garlic chopped finely
4 sprigs Thyme
2 rashers Bacon

In a large pan, heat 1 Tb oil. Add Onion, Garlic and Bacon and sautee for 5 mins. Add Beans, Tomatoes, Stock, Paprika and half cup of water. Allow to simmer for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat a small saucepan. Add Butter, Leek, Mushroom and Thyme. Sautee for 5 mins or until soft.

Heat a medium saucepan and fill half way with boiling water. Add vinegar. Crack in eggs and boil for 2 minutes.

Toast bread and place on plate. Pile Bean mixture on top of toast. Top with sauteed Mushroom and Leek mixture. Place egg on top and break open. Slice on Avocado.

Perfect Winter comfort food in 20 minutes!

How to con your husband and kids into watching less TV

A couple of years ago we moved into a little asbestos holiday shack while we built our home. This shack was primitive enough that it didn't have a TV connection and I wondered how I was going to cope for 3 months. You see at that time we were your standard family that relied on the big black box to babysit our kids, ensure we were up to date with the state of the world and to provide much needed down time at the end of each busy day. The first thing we did in the morning was turn it on, and the last thing we did at night was turn it off. It was our friend and constant companion.



Within just 3 months of TV abstinence I noticed some interesting changes within our family unit:

• I didn't know what was going on in the world and I liked it! While a lot of people were feeling sorrow and despair about the natural disaster occurring at that time, I was blissfully unaware and was living in the happiness bubble that was my reality.
• My husband stopped telling me to 'shoosh' as I spoke, due to his interest in some rubbishy news story of the day!
• The kids started using their imagination to play games (after an initial period of looking around dumbfoundendly unsure of what to do to entertain themselves).
• I stopped feeling so insecure - I didn't have models and gorgeous TV presenters to compare myself too in the morning while I was still in my PJ's, breastfeeding a baby with some breakfast concoction streaking my hair!

The ever optimistic me was convinced after this time that we were now to become a hippy TV free family, holding hands and singing Kom By Yah around the dinner table at night. Imagine my horror then when I arrived home one day to find Jim's Antennas at my house and my husband smiling with relief on his face that the TV was now installed "Just in time for footy season honey!" Far out I'm sure you can imagine the arguing that went on after that! Needless to say I didn't win that battle (what would a bloody Kiwi understand about the importance of AFL?!) But, I did get a compromise (I later went on to win the battle, keep reading to find out how!) Here's what we agreed on:

• The TV would come back into the house, but would be placed in our upstairs lounge room so that it wasn't the centre of the home, It was to be an accessory not the masterpiece!
• If the TV was on it was to be muted at ad breaks (to reduce the impulse to run out and buy new whitegoods/ bigger TV's because we were brainwashed to think it would make us prettier/ funnier/ more popular!) 
• The kids were allowed to choose a couple of shows to watch and that was it.

Now, clever woman that I am had just a little inkling that if I took the TV out of the room that was warm/ housed the fridge and internet/ had a nice couch in it and moved it to the room that was up the stairs/ had the uncomfortable couch in it/ was cold and a bit lonely that maybe, just maybe people wouldn't feel so inclined to go up there and watch it? And I was right! Oh I do love my female manipulative abilities!

So 2 years down the track and no-one goes up and watches the TV. I love it! I have my family back. I've strategically placed craft tables, baskets of books and toys around the house so the kids are never far from a 'play' station (pun intended). We play board games, go for evening walks, garden or just talk with the kids.

The best thing for me is watching my kids be kids. They get so engrossed in these elaborate games that come from their imagination. They include each other (because you need more than one person for a good game and sometimes even a dog or chicken!), they use props, they draw and cut and paste and paint, they sing and dance. It's just the childhood I dreamed of for them.

Do you think reducing TV time would improve your family unit? Do you have any tips and tricks for cutting down TV time in your house? Here's some pics of what we get up to now that the TV has gone.

Jesse spends hours each day teaching his little sister how to draw

Doing the dishes 

We installed swings on our deck for winding down time before bed

Practising ball skills

Making smoothies like Mama does! 

Developing rock climbing skills

Just hanging out and talking as a family

Andi's favourite pass time - setting up picnics for the family!

Meal Prep Monday

One of my first posts when I was started this blog was about allocating a meal prep day - you can read about that post here (you can also download my free meal planning template).

Allocating a meal prep day is really important if you want your week to run smoothly and especially important if you work part time or full time. Often when we work all day we are so tired by the time that we get home that we just eat whatever is quickest and easiest - and that means it's often not the healthiest food choice.

So what does meal prepping involve? Here's a step by step guide:

1. Work out what meals you want to make for the week using this template
2. Check your cupboards to see if you have all of the ingredients
3. If you don't then write up your shopping list
4. Stick to your shopping list when you go to the shops - this will save you time and money
5. Make all of the basics that you'll need for snacks during the week on an allocated day

Monday for me is my meal prep day for two reasons - the first is that the house is emptied of food after the weekend so I need to re-stock, and also I don't work on a Monday or have any kids activities. You'll need to work out the best day for you - if you work full time it will most likely be Saturday or Sunday.

Meal prep day for me goes like this:

Sunday night:   Write up shopping list and weekly meal plan

7:30am             Drive into town so that I'm at the vege shop at opening time (I do this so that it's nice            and empty in the shop and my kids can run amuck without me constantly having to apologise for their behaviour!)

8:00am              Half hour whizz around (which I can do because I've got my list!)
 
8:30am              Drive back home to supermarket

9am                   Half hour whizz around supermarket

9:30am              Berry picking on way home if we're running low (this is a good break for the kids too)

11am                Back at home - Kids eat morning tea while I put away groceries

11:30am           Make the basics - Basil Pesto, Hummus, Biscuits, Granola, Kefir, Popcorn, Bliss Balls,  Ice-Cream and Yoghurt.

This takes me through till about 2pm, but saves me oodles of time during the week! Here's how I use my basics to keep me sane on busy days:

Basil Pesto

• Boil up a bowl of pasta and throw a tablespoon in - 5 minute meal
• Grab a Naan bread, spread with pesto, tomato, capsicum and top with cheese then bake - 10 minute snack
• Spread on a cracker with tomato, sprouts, cucumber - 5 minute snack
• Pesto pastry twists

Hummus

• Spread on a cracker - 1 minute snack
• Cut up cucumber and carrot sticks and serve with hummus - 5 minute snack
• Serve with corn chips - 1 minute snack
• Use as a base in sandwiches - 1 minute snack
• Throw into some brown rice with chopped cucumber, tomato and avocado - 10 minute lunch

Granola

• Serve with yoghurt - 1 minute snack
• Breakfast cereal - 1 minute
• Make biscuits out of at the end of the week when all of the other biscuits have gone! (15 minutes)
• Sprinkle over homemade ice-cream for dessert - 1 minute

All of the other things that I make are then ready in the cupboard for hungry kids. It literally takes me 2-3 minutes to whip out a plate, pile on some snacks and serve to the kids at snack time. I also grab a handful of these snacks and put them into a lunchbox to give to the kids on the way home from childcare on my work days too.

If you're not convinced yet then I urge you to try it just a couple of times to see if it can simplify your life just a little!

Nicole x

Our 'slow' weekend and why it's crucial for happiness

Generally my weekends consist of a mad rush between sports activities for the kids while my husband visits clients or completes 'urgent' work. We rush in and out of the house, passing the batten of child minding while we try to fit in some precious 'me' time for ourselves - Luke surfs while I clean the house, then I go for a run and do some business work while he takes the kids to the footy. It's all a little bit crazy and a performance that I know is undertaken in many households like ours! 

Every few weeks though when our bodies tell us it's time, we try to take a chill pill to give our bodies the space to heal and our thoughts time to settle and clear. Without this space Luke and I both find it difficult to be calm with the kids, kind to each other and to think clearly and creatively in regards to our careers.

This is a really important part of our busy lives and we have learnt (the hard way!) that when we don't make this space, it will be made for us later - in a much harsher way though - generally severe illness that lays us up in bed! 

So how do we have this space without being distracted by all that or busy lives is throwing at us? Here's our top tips!

• Have a chat about what each person wants to do over the weekend and how you'll support each other to have 'me' time. 

• Make the weekend sacred - when requests for your time pop up, make sure you are assertive and tell people that you need the time to rest this weekend, but next weekend you may be free.

• Use your diary when 'to do' items pop up in your mind. Write them in your diary to take action on tomorrow, then let the thought go and don't focus on solving it today.

• Resist the urge to feel guilty about spending time 'doing nothing'. There will always be a 'to do' list so long that you can't possibly finish it. Although you keep telling yourself that you'll rest when 'everything's finished' - that time will never come. You will never be finished everything. You will be a better wife/mother/father/husband/daughter/son if you are happy, rested and thinking clearly - it is essential that you prioritise your self care in life. 

• Support each other - when one person gets tempted to 'just paint that fence quickly because it's meant to rain for the rest of the week',  gently remind them the importance of a slow weekend and that there will be time to do that job next weekend. It's hard to begin with, but if you have support from your partner or a friend then it will become easier.

• Reflect on how much better you feel at the end of the weekend - that way you're more likely to understand the importance of a slow weekend and therefore repeat it again in the future!

This is what our 'slow' weekend looked like in pictorial form;

Friday night surfing

Baking bread with Mama

5 year anniversary dinner

Just 'being' - so important for teenagers

Jumping for hours - so important for toddlers!

Celebrating being ALIVE! 

Experiencing nature - making whistles from leaves

Creating special memories ( and dancing like only a 3 year old can!)

Go gently this week and love yourself, look after yourself and make your happiness a priority!

Why my skin didn't clear up on my 30 day juicing challenge.

A month ago I wrote this post about undergoing a 30 day juicing challenge to clear up my skin. So I'm now at the end of that challenge and guess what? My skin hasn't cleared up. What the?! You can only imagine my frustration right?

Now the reason for this is staring me smack bang in the face today, but just a week ago I was confused, annoyed and despondent, having a major pity party for myself. But then something happened. The Universe grabbed me by my feet, tipped me upside down and shook me really hard until I woke up to myself. And I did. I had a meltdown, took a step back from my life and viewed it as a kind objective friend might view it. What I observed was that I am stressed. I am burnt out. I have too many deadlines and not enough time. I am saying yes to everyone except to myself and it has got to stop. 

You see the thing with health is that you can drink as many green smoothies as you want, and you can eat Quinoa, Millet, Kale and Chia till the cows come home, but if your life is out of whack in another area - say your relationship, career, hobbies or finances - your health is going to suffer. Basically I've been walking around with a big sign on my face (in the form of pimples!) saying "You need to look after yourself" but I just couldn't read what my body was trying to tell me.

So now my challenge is to re-evaluate, realign and make some major changes to my life. That can be scary, but also exciting and ultimately I trust the Universe to guide me in the right direction.

Is your body trying to tell you something? Are all of the areas of your life in balance at the moment? Be kind to yourself and take just 10 minutes this weekend to breathe. Think about how you can bring balance and health back into line for you today!

Go gently this beautiful weekend!

Nicole x

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate.

If you live in Australia you may have seen the debate going on between Sunrise and Sarah Wilson, who is a healthy food blogger that I have great respect for. I'm not going to go into the story as I'm not really one to take sides (I'm a Libran - it's all about balance for me!) but it has raised some interesting questions from some people as to how you deal with this discussion between your own friends, and also when dealing with health professionals.

I am lucky enough to almost be through the vaccination period. I have sat on both sides of the fence throughout this period. When my oldest was a baby, I was a teenager and very vunerable. I didn't make a 'choice' to vaccinate, I really didn't think that it was an option not too. I went along with the health system, took advice from doctors and midwives and my son was fully vaccinated. And he is fine. He has a strong immune system , had no adverse reactions and is now a healthy happy teenager.

When my daughter was born 4 years ago I was still caught up in the medical health system, I still followed the advice from doctors and midwives and she was fully vaccinated for 9 months. Then at 9 months she started having reactions to all sorts of things. I was told by the same doctors and midwives that there was nothing wrong with her and I got the impression that they thought I was being paranoid. To be told 'there is nothing you can do to help her' was a big lightbulb moment for me, and it has led me to where I am today, training in the field of Integrative Nutrition. For the first time in my life, I had the feeling that these very, very well meaning and intelligent health professionals, possibly weren't aware that there is always something you can do. They might not have the answer, but somebody, somewhere does.

At 12 months I took my daughter to get her MMR vaccination and I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I shouldn't do it. I decided to delay it. It went against my value and belief system not to vaccinate, because that was the culture I grew up in, but I just couldn't shake this feeling. I kept delaying and kept delaying and that was okay - the doctors and midwives were very understanding that I needed that time to decide.

Over this time I got busy researching. I read books on the subject, talked to friends and family (now that's an interesting experience if anyone likes politics!) and I sought advice from a naturopath for the first time. This was also the same time that my 3rd child was born. He was born a premmie and he was fairly fragile. Again that alarm bell went off in my head  - I flat out refused for anyone to inject him with anything until he was healthy and strong. I hadn't made the decision not to vaccinate, I just didn't want to do it now. And I was confident that I could keep him away from any bugs for a few months and protect him with my breastmilk.

And that brings us to today. I'm still a bit of a fence sitter. I still haven't made the decision not to vaccinate - I just don't want to do it now. There have been a couple of times that I have vaccinated. I admit that one of them was out of fear. To counteract the bad stuff in the vaccines, I gave the kids some homeopathic remedies before and after the vaccination.

Do I come across negative reactions from health professionals?
No I don't, because I choose not to even enter the debate. When they ask "Are they fully vaccinated?" I simply reply "No". They will then ask "Is there a reason for that?" and I always say "It's my personal choice". They have no right to ask me anything further, so I simply sit in silence. They eventually become uncomfortable with the silence so move quickly onto the next question!

Do I have trouble getting my kids into Childcare/ Kinder/ Primary School/ Highschool?
No I don't. I simply ask Centrelink for a conscientious objection form, fill it in and provide it to whoever has requested.

Do I still receive childcare benefit?
Yes I do. As long as the conscientious objection form has been filled in. And the moment the government decides that you can't receive a benefit or go to school without being fully immunised, I will be the first person to be on  the picket line because I absolutely believe in a parents right to choose.

Do I get concerned that I'm putting my kids at risk by not having them fully immunised?
Yes I do - I'm only human. But the fear that I felt when I walked in to immunise my daughter at 12 months was far greater than the fear I felt when I walked out without doing it. I have learnt to trust my gut, because it is the only thing that I have to guide me in this life as to what is right and wrong for me.

Do I recommend to others not to immunise.
Never! How could I possibly know what is right and wrong for others? Only they can know that, based on their own gut feeling, research and upbringing.

My advice if you're still making the decision:

• Research, research and more research. You need to be comfortable with the decision that you've made - either way. 
• Listen to your gut. Listen to your gut. Listen to your gut. I cannot repeat that enough times. 
• Don't be rushed into the decision. Just because the midwives tell you to immunise at 6 weeks, 3 months etc they will be more than happy to work out a new immunisation plan with you if you decide to delay. 
• Once you make your decision, try to refrain from telling other people why your decision is right and their's is wrong. Your decision is right for you. Their decision is right for them. 
• A couple of good reading books are Dr Jennifer Barham-Floreani "Well adjusted babies" and Dr Peter Baratosy "Vaccination - it's your informed choice".